The Trauma of Sexuality in a Couple-relationship
The body is speaking when words are missing
Girls and boys, which suffered from sexual violence, have extreme difficulties to develop their sexual identity. The relation between the experienced sexual trauma and body-symptoms is known. Experienced emotional and sexual violence is stored in the body-memory, even if there is no remembrance of the trauma itself. The sensual pleasure and the erotic attraction of grown-ups is limited by the Trauma of sexuality or totally inhibited.
The body doesn't lie – it is our ally
So-called sexual disorders, fear of body-contact, which is often experienced fear-oriented, limits our preservation of lust and can indicate an existing psychotrauma.
To remain myself in togetherness – a question of identity
To live my own identity means, to understand and accept my individual trauma biography.
Human sexuality is an expression of our own physical experience in the past. The development of a healthy Identity is positively influencing our sexuality. The healthy sexuality in partnership is the result of two humans which learned to accept themselves wholeheartedly. The love towards myself and to feel secure in my own body is an important requirement to live a fulfilled and sensual life and love life.
After the short speech I offer space for an own self-encountering.
Marion Nebbe, born 1955, nursery nurse / officially recognised remedial teacher. Further trainings: Systemic couple- and family-consultations (I.F.W. München). Systemic Coaching/ Supervision (DGSv). Communication trainer und associate lecturer at the VHS Munich for empathic communication (GFK). Mediation based on communication; focus on couple- and family mediation (Institut Sikor). Bodypsychotherapy: Biodynamic massage (Gerda Boysen), Integrative breathing / rebirthing. Sexual consultation (Gabriele St. Claire und Michael Plesse). Boding-based therapy und consultation (Dr. K.H. Brisch). Since 2012 supervision of Identity-constellations in single setting und in group-seminars (IoPT of Prof. Dr. Franz Ruppert) with continued further trainings und hospitations. Since January 2018, I do offer identity-oriented self-encounters for couples with the intention-method to reach a respectful togetherness, away from hurting relationship-dynamics. This offer is aimed to men and women who want to live constructive forms of `we` based on a healthy identity, far away from existing man/woman role-playing and social stereotypes. The focus of my work lies in the development of empathy and self-determination for others and myself.
Identity Trauma and Burnout
In this workshop we will explore how early trauma (e.g. by being an unwanted child, surviving abortion attempt or lack of contact in the start of life) can set us up for a life time struggle to convince others and ourselves that we are worthy, capable and needed. Early trauma means that at a very early age we changed from a “safe” development mode to an “unsafe” emergency mode and contact with our body was reduced or lost. Traumatic experiences are stored in our bodies and can easily be activated by triggers. In a traumatized culture our triggers get pushed constantly and work can be a valued identification object. By sacrificing ourselves for work, we unconsciously hope to belong and have value.
When feelings of unworthiness are triggered we easily go into survival mode, neglect our own needs and sacrifice ourselves for our work. When performing like “work machines” with an enormous will to perform, we will often gain recognition, but over time the feeling of emptiness, numbness and symptoms of burn-out will grow. As the trauma occurred very early we have no recollection or understanding of the root cause of our behavior.
Frantz Ruppert’s model of the Splitting of the Human Psyche describes symptoms such as obsession and overwhelm. These symptoms are also easily recognizable in persons with burnout.
After the talk there will be possibility for a constellation.
Sissel Bru Reksten (1957), Psycho trauma therapist IoPT, one to one and group, IoPT trainer with own practice IoPT Stavanger, Norway, since 2017. Supervisor for Trauma therapists IoPT. Sissel was Trained and Certified (2013) with Marta Thorsheim at Institutt for Traumearbeid, Oslo, has followed Prof. Franz Ruppert’s Advanced International training 2014-2016. Sissel has a Bachelor in Social Work, Cand. Mag. In Organization and Leadership, Master in Change Management. She has used IoPT theory in her work as social worker, organization consultancy and rehabilitation and integration work. Sissel has a practice in Stavanger and also offers trauma information training for professionals.